Today feels like the beginning of weeks of frustration and stress.
Imagine if you will writing a paper in school that decides your final grade for your class. In fact this one class will be the deciding factor if you are to graduate. Now you have studied hard and you have completed research. You begin writing your paper which is due in less than three weeks and think you should have no problems. You start typing the paper and your computer fails. It's dead and will not start up whatsoever.
Not a problem...do it the old fashioned way and use a pen and paper then when you get to school you will just type it into the computer there. Turns out you cannot find any supplies now...no paper, no pens...nothing. You try going to the store all the supplies are out. You decide to go to the computer lab at school however...it is closed for the next 4 weeks for rennovations. You have no money and no way to fix your computer and suddenly time is slipping away...this is my work life right now.
I have very little time to produce close to $500,000 worth of product. My machines are breaking, my suppliers have nothing for me to make my product with and my employees are falling apart from the stress. I keep trying to stay strong and try to keep fixing the problem but somehow I feel like I am standing on the Titanic playing cello as the water is lapping over the sides and she is awkwardly bending her neck to look up at the stars.
Even worse...if we lose this deal we may lose all future deals with this corporation. If we lose this deal...I will most likely never get my large fat raise. Thanksgiving will be ruined and so will Christmas.I know it's all so short term but it expands and messes up other plans.
Such as you might ask?
Such as moving into my own apartment in Downtown Portland or maybe North East Portland...like buying myself furniture and some new clothes. Like living with less cares than I do now but doing the same work load. I want something out of 7 years of constantly doing extra and busting my ass. I want something to build on finally now that I am 37. I believe in living humble and not beyond your means. I believe in being simple and never too flashy or upscale. I love living a simple life and enjoying simple things. I want to settle in and meet someone and fall in love. I want romance and joy and nights where I am not always alone. I know that money does not mean these things come to you...but it helps. It helps so much when you arent worried about your next meal or if you have enough cash for bus fare and food today. It helps when you want to go out and do things because if you have no money you cannot go to social events and meet people.
I just want something worthwhile instead of being a wage slave all the time. I want the big pay off.
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