Always a let down

You...I left you in Phoenix. I thought somehow my heart ache would end there since you were pretty much living like a married couple with Nate. But it did not end there did it? Do you enjoy hurting me? Did you have to move to Oregon to hurt me more? Apparently you just could not let me live in happiness could you? So you came here and now you don't hang out with me. But I was good enough to use for a place to crash until you got your new job and relocated? Obviously you used me...because I have not seen you once since you have been here. You have not called or even wrote a simple hello. Fuck a little consideration would be nice but you cannot even pay me that.
You come to Portland and basically made me feel bad about what I own and how I live. Now you live here and you cannot even be my friend? Fuck you...seriously fuck you for making me feel so bad about myself. Fuck you for ruining my new life in a place where I knew no one. Fuck you for hurting me and letting this continue for over 8 years now. I wanted my freedom and now I know you could be looming around the corner and I will run into you and feel my fucking heart break into a thousand pieces over and over again.
I hope the roses I sent bother your allergies or maybe one pricked you and you get an infection from it.
I wanted to be free...I wanted the safety of over a thousand miles. Now it has been robbed from me.

I may have to find a new job somewhere over seas and never tell you I left. That might be my only solution.