Sometimes I wonder...when did I lose the sparkle? When I did I lose the shine? Or was the light and glimmer only taken from your eyes? Because inside I burn just as bright.
I hung out with roommate K today. I remember her always being so bright and a lot of fun. I had a crush on her and I am starting to realize every girl I have bonded with I always want sexually. I may have not had enough affection as a child. I think this may be where the sex addiction came from.
While in Phoenix you told me you noticed I was more assertive now...which means I am changing in your eyes. But when did I lose the light your eyes once held for me? When did I no longer mean as much? Because somewhere along the way we lost one another and even when I feel like we are connecting again you go cold and distant. You start telling stories of other men, better men...or at least better for you than I am. Which makes me wonder what makes them better? Because I am awesome...but in a less sculpted body...BINGO! I need to get this body in tune with this mind. I need everyone to see me as art as much as they see the art I create. By September I want to look fantastic in my tuxedo at the wedding. I want to send you a couple pics of me that make your jaw drop. Because I still love you...You the big M the only M that ever mattered. Somehow you can hold my heart in the pieces you left it and it never feels quite broken. Only damaged and ready to grow stronger.
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