creep

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here




I walk drunkenly by bridges but do not jump...
I think about it the whole time I am walking by.
About how easy it would be to throw myself over the railing.
How this height would surely do enough damage for death...
what stops me is how uncertain the death is...
I could turn out to be a vegetable and cause myself to be a burden on my family
FUCK THAT
I don't like being a burden on myself half the time much less anyone else.
I chicken out of suicide because it is uncertain with almost every possibility...
Much like that which I am giving up
Because life is full of possibilities...
I am stuck in the mediocre and lame.
I find women that do not want me...only my attention
One would call them teases
They may be right but it's all the attention I get
I will take it
Being used is normal now
Being brushed aside is normal now
Being second best or on reserve is where I am
I am not the guy they fall head over heels for anymore
He passed away several years ago
and left Mr. Lame behind.
I wake up simply to exist and pay bills
I live so I am not a burden on anyone but myself...
my existence is unhappy and unfulfilled
I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here
I don't belong here....